Q: It’s Father’s Day month, and I’m sure it brings up a lot of fond memories with your children. We have heard Rhett’s story through Beth’s eyes. What were some of the emotions that you were going through at that time? What was it like for you from a father’s perspective?
A: I’ve shared “my” version of our story many times over the years, but it’s been a while. When Rhett passed away, I still got up every morning and went to work at The Sacramento Bee. While at work, I was mourning Rhett’s death, but I was able to escape some of the pain by burying my head into my work. When I would come home from work every day, I would be greeted by Beth and our two other children, Breanna and Brandon. I could see that Beth was going through an emotional roller coaster, and I was so relieved when she started her fitness training with one of her best friends, Rachelle Hightower. When she ran her first half marathon, I was there cheering her on every step of the way. Little did I know that when she crossed that finish line, she’d tell me, “We all have to run, we have to RUN FOR RHETT”. From that moment on, my life was changed for the better.
Q: You also have two other children besides Rhett. Tell us a little bit about them. What is the birth order/ages? What are some of your favorite Father’s Day memories with them as they were growing up?
A: Yes, I have two other children from my first marriage. Their names are Breanna (September/1986) and Brandon (October/1988). After my divorce, I began taking Brea (age 4) and Brandon (age 2) to a childcare center called Early Beginnings in Elk Grove. It wasn’t long after bringing them there that I fell hard for the center’s director, Beth Barr. Beth and I were married in 1994 when the kids were 4 and 6 and together we raised them with my ex-wife and her spouse. Breanna attended Elk Grove High School and graduated in 2004. Brea kept us busy for sure. She could skateboard or rollerblade with the best of the boys. We built a ¼ pipe skateboard ramp that she spent MANY days/hours on in front of our house. Brandon attended Sheldon High School and graduated in 2007. He played little league until he was 13 when he took up golf. He spent most of his teenage time practicing and played competitively for Sheldon HS. After high school, he attended the University of Arizona and graduated in 2011 with a BA degree in Marketing and Communications.
I have many fond memories of Father’s Day. We traditionally had a picnic each year at nearby Camden Lake. We would spend the afternoon picnicking, playing Frisbee, and fishing in the lake. The time spent with my Dad and Mom, Beth’s family, my family, and our kids will forever be held close to my heart.
Q: Your daughter Breanna passed away unexpectedly about two years ago. Can you tell us what she was going through, signs of her struggles, how long? What are the things that you did as a parent to help her through it? How are you dealing with her passing right now?
A: Yes; Brea passed away on August 28, 2019, at the age of 32. She left behind her husband Jeremy and her two boys Gavin (11) and Greydon (9) and so many others that loved her. For the final few years of her life, she had symptoms of anxiety and depression. Although she had symptoms, she was like many young people today and thought she could work through it herself. She often called me to talk about her experiencing sleepless nights, numbness in her hands, and uncontrollable shaking. We finally convinced her to see a therapist. Unfortunately, she never went to see her general practice doctor. After she passed away, an autopsy was done and it revealed that she had a heart defect that was ultimately the cause of her sudden death.
As a parent, losing one child is unthinkable. Losing two children is oftentimes unbearable. Learning from Beth’s experience of MOVING INTO LIFE, has helped me tremendously. I am so grateful for my Runnin’ for Rhett family. Movement……running, walking, cycling, Pickleball….and so many other things have helped me so much. Moving is one thing, but the relationships that I have built through my R4R family have helped me work through the really tough days.
I hope to someday soon unveil an annual “Bikin’ for Brea” fundraising event with proceeds benefiting her brother Rhett’s non-profit. I know that Brea, and Rhett, would approve. To help organize it, I’d like to engage Brea’s husband Jeremy, Gavin, and Grey, her family, and the many friends that she made throughout her life. So keep your eyes open for this event and come join us. 🙂
Q: You have two awesome grandboys, Gavin and Greydon, that we love seeing at our Blue Crew events. What are some of the things that you enjoy doing together?
A: Beth and I have been blessed to have two very handsome grandboys, Gavin (11) and Greydon (9). Until last fall, the boys lived in Sacramento. Beth and I were heavily involved in their lives, picking them up from school and spending time with them each day after school. They went to nearby Foulks Ranch Elementary School, played baseball in the Laguna Youth Baseball League, and spent a ton of time running, biking, and hanging out with our Blue Crew family. After Brea passed away, Brea’s husband Jeremy felt drawn home to Reno, NV. They moved back to Reno in August of 2020. We have a goal of seeing the boys at least one time per month. We haven’t missed one yet.
Q: What piece of fatherly advice would you want to pass on to your son and grandsons?
A: Brea, Brandon, Gavin, and Grey know how I feel. Live BIG! Play HARD! Life is too short. Do not take one day for granted. Do what you say, work hard, be honest and hold the ones that you love very close. Oh yeah, always MOVE INTO LIFE.
